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xxxtra cream [digital version]

by whiff trophy

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hearseebravo
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hearseebravo "Why do you love this album", you ask.

Why do you ask?

Because I will balance my body in water if i feel like it.. Float on~ Favorite track: caring is the worst thing of all.
/
1.
stay inside 01:06
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2.
me 06:49
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me it's five in the morning at least that's what it feels like did i lean into tonight? i know that you believe in me and i encourage you to do it to me
3.
strawberry stratego 01:32
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4.
handmade rugs 04:43
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is it easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to inherit the kingdom of heaven? handmade rugs so beautiful just like your grandma done
5.
dignity 03:24
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6.
i love you 00:46
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7.
innerspaceouterpeace 01:12
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8.
u&me 01:30
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if i could sing myself on top of a mountain i'd sing you there with me just you and me and there'd be no counting just be you and me if i could sing myself to the bottom of a canyon i'd sing you there with me you and me and the grass and the flowers supine and free
9.
lose your brains in a beat on the club 02:52
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____ lose your brains on a beat in the club let the night move you hold me close don't let go
10.
caring is the worst thing of all 09:08
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all i wanna do is make something of useful beauty seems like whenever i feel close it finds some way to then elude me do you feel the same way too it’s hard for me to believe you do there’s so often something there for me to admire how do you find the time? will i ever love myself enough to feel i did it right even knowing there’s no such thing and that individual creativity is perfect why don’t i ever just feel like it works? its easy for me to feel like my karma is reversed which is exactly the thing i heard from someone else that made me feel of worth and i’ve dedicated my life to paying that forward was it wrong of me to think i could earn apotheosis to simply accept it turns me loose but leaves me no work to do i have the words when can i have the tunes am i not pushing myself hard enough to change everything about my life i understand that that is how to die
 but when i grow, other people cry caring is the worst thing of all the biggest ego trip i fall and fall and fall
11.
i don't care 04:20
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i don't care if you love me i don't care if you want me to die i still love you
12.
hallucinacion 02:54
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hallucinacion it's all an illusion i know someday my mind'll get the better of me gone and i lose my memory gone
13.
count yr blessings 04:37
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i never count my blessings i'm not strong enough to catch them better count your blessings up, bad boy what if the truth is my life is almost over sometime i feel like i can feel death in my bones people say i age well i got my golden years ahead of me but a lot of people die with stories left to tell i've been living kinda weird i've been living kinda hard looking so long for god and the funny thing: i've found it and now the death to strike me down better count your blessings up...
14.
crimes 01:45
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15.
steam/come to me 06:10
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Come To Me
 
Come towards me obliterate the war machines you gave me reason to sing i believe all i’m doing is singing for you to say thanks if you really do what they say you do i encourage you to come here and obliterate the war machines nonetheless, i’m still in your debt in saying thanks i sing to you thankfully come to me change me spiritually use your things i cannot name to make the change we need for you to come and us receive in peace
16.
undulating unfocus 03:13
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17.
bring me wine 08:50
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bring me wine i wanna sing you a song but i don't know how it goes genuine

about

this album was recorded in the back room of the coffee shop where i work (get it? "extra cream"? smh. anywayy) in late night bursts of 3-4 hours 2-3 times a week for about 7 or 8 weeks (but who's counting?!), beginning around March 17, 2020 at the onset of basically all businesses closing around where i live. i moved my gear into the shop so i could do some work during this bonus creative time. it also served as my initiation to Ableton Live (Lite version **only 8 tracks per project allowed!**). it's kinda a catalogue of my introductory learning curves with that software. it had to be "done" by 5/30 as i began an out-of-state "vacation" (?!) the next morning. this is basically what i was able to do in that time. i like it pretty well and hope you'll find some interest in it too.
.
∆

re: JUNE 5 (and all following Bandcamp fee-waiving days): All proceeds from the "sale" (donations) via download of this album (and all other whiff trophy releases) will be matched dollar for dollar up to $500 to support various causes connected to the Black Lives Matter community and other organizations recommended and supported by racial and economic justice foundations (ie Bail Fund causes, health care, after school programs (shout out to Mighty Writers in PHL), etc.) There are many, but of huge importance is that these causes are primarily focused on dismantling systemic racism. I like the idea that they would promote self-actualization and belief in the sanctity of the individual, but I also realize that some people need more immediate help and that of course is extremely important and will be surely included. *If you read on, you will notice that in a few lines I have something of a larger plan develop... For now, allow me to note that I will likely route a large portion of the initial contributions from this plan to BLM, and those not directly given to BLM will very likely be routed through that organization's network of friends as a general starting point. I will aim to get some focus directly on cities in which I've lived or am currently living in too (Atlanta and Athens, GA, Chicago, Philadelphia and Seattle). *I'm writing this part already having had the plan that you'll see develop in a couple lines, so just bear with me: I will eventually work in a portion for more global efforts in the fight against white supremacy, but again, let us remember the present and grow from here. Though I am an Earthling, born in Atlanta, GA, USA, the work must radiate outwards. As a program it will develop balance over time: national, specific, global, but always directed at rectifying racial injustice and dismantling systemic racism (theoretically you should find this thread connected to much of my work, but we'll discuss that further later when we've become better acquainted). But AGAIN, back to what's present: USA, Black Lives Matter, let's grow this. A thing I can do is set This particular album to $0 on these days to try to ... well, WAIT (cue the plan): lemme just say that I'll just set it to $0 each Friday until the next LP is released, at which time I'll set THAT LP to zero each Friday, and so on... So what I mean is, each Friday (forever) (I'll do my diligent best, but we're talking many years of Fridays now - I'll set the newest record to $0 and all proceeds will be matched in support of appropriate donation causes) (**I've been making it a point for the last couple of years to donate a percentage of my income to Progressive political candidates, and social services and small businesses I appreciate. I very much aim to "vote with my dollar" always, but I also think it's extremely important to support social causes (and ART, duh))... But I'm bordering on digressing. What we have here NOW is a very important and overdue movement happening that aims to and will succeed in bringing "God-given" (for lack of a more precise apolitical term) justice into the present. WE HAVE MUCH TO DO, but IT'S ON!!!!!! So, to reorient towards June 2020, then onward, it's this LP that I can use as my small gift toward the cause. I'm spiritually committed to this for life, as you'll read below (and hopefully on all sides) if you continue reading (this part right now being written on 6/19/2020, but the surrounding text predates)... CARRY ON! My thanks beyond "things". Just trying to show some of the context. LOVE!!!

*
6/19: today Bandcamp is giving their admin portion of the "sales" to the NAACP, which is very much appropriate I think. Hopefully they'll do that more often.

--

To conclude in this space by leaving intact something I wrote on 6/5, which, falling after some of the previous comments reflects some redundancy, but hey, we go around don't we? and music repeats ::

A personal note regarding my "own" politics: I believe in "BE-ALIVE". I be-alive in compassion and active spirituality. I be-alive there is no justice when any One is oppressed. I be-alive in I-and-I. I be-alive in being the change I wish to see. I wish to see peace and love and creativity, and as I will mention again below, LISTENING. I be-alive in the power of psychedelic plants to re-route habitually problematic neural pathways. I be-alive Love *could* reign supreme, and that we all have the potential to live fairly, kindly, generously, harmoniously and interestingly together. I be-alive that "the condition of truth is allowing suffering to speak." I be-alive in LISTENING. I be-alive in nuance. I be-alive in persistence. I be-alive everything is connected at the source, and that we can all access that place if we make the effort. I be-alive we CAN see the myriad ways we are all the same, and the delicious ways that we are different and complementary. I be-alive "clashing" is tension-and-release: a motif of ART. I am hopeful, and critical. My aim is to celebrate the divinity of the individual and work for a more peaceful and pleasurable tomorrow. The work IS the ever-unfolding present. I be-alive in living these beliefs and imbuing each motion of my mind and body with this vision. I invite the magical powers at the root of everything to make this my natural and fluent behavior. I hope you'll hold me to it, and have strength and compassion.


I give money to and vote almost exclusively for "progressive" political candidates. I donate nation-wide. I'm committed to the process of re-structuring our world to be celebratory and respectful of life and the abundant gifts of "Nature". It's a mentality and a way of life, every moment of every day. Be*Alive. 💗

Thanks for droppin by

nda

(*also, I want to stay focused on the Present, but I want you all to know that gender and sexuality issues are extremely important to me as well. I support radical gender expression and consensual sexuality to the imaginative limits * i understand there is danger in carrying the wordage of this out to extremes of age and psychology, but I am kinda digressing a little here, so let me just reiterate my emphasis on consensual, with the implication that partners are thought of in generous and loving terms as much as possible. i'm not gonna write a treatise here (too complex! and a bit not the time), but we all know people are CRAFTY. the point is, i want people who identify as |whatever!| (if you're aiming to help), to know that I love you too, and I'm trying to look out for always! everything is so complex! I want you to know I want you to feel appreciated and thrilled. be YOU so we can be US! please keep that in mind, and we'll work up some language together in time. for now, I'd like to remind you you're in my thoughts and my heart! and slide back into the vibe

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released May 30, 2020

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whiff trophy Seattle, Washington

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