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caring is the worst thing of all

from xxxtra cream [digital version] by whiff trophy

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lyrics

all i wanna do is make something of useful beauty
seems like whenever i feel close it finds some way to then elude me
do you feel the same way too
it’s hard for me to believe you do
there’s so often something there for me to admire
how do you find the time?
will i ever love myself enough to feel i did it right

even knowing there’s no such thing
and that individual creativity is perfect
why don’t i ever just feel like it works?
its easy for me to feel like my karma is reversed
which is exactly the thing i heard from someone else that made me feel of worth
and i’ve dedicated my life to paying that forward
was it wrong of me to think i could earn apotheosis
to simply accept it turns me loose but leaves me no work to do
i have the words
when can i have the tunes

am i not pushing myself hard enough to change everything about my life
i understand that that is how to die

but when i grow, other people cry
caring is the worst thing of all
the biggest ego trip
i fall
and fall
and fall

credits

from xxxtra cream [digital version], released May 30, 2020

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